with Angel kids now.If “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose”, then a challenge we face is to look at what we’ve exposed the last few weeks – the emotional cholesterol - the wounds of life, and not only see forgiving and healing take place but examine how it could be “for our good.” Some call it reframing your life experience. Much of this material is taken from the book Reframing Your Life by Stephen Arterburn
Reframing is more than just seeing the upside of some very dark experiences in life. It is looking at the events of your life from a broader perspective than just the event. It is looking deeper into all the facts surrounding the past rather than personalizing the wound and falling victim to it.
Reframing is the process of gaining new information and insight into traumatic events, both past and present, and resolving any possbile guilt, fear and anger. Reframing motivates you to refocus, move on, and live with new purpose and meaning. A question to ask ourselves is:
Who framed you? Who influenced your life in a positive framing fashion? What was the result?
It might be appropriate to send that person a thank you note.
Then there is negative framing. Someone who has taken pieces of reality and combined them with some half-truths and fabrications and framed you in a way that is not exactly accurate. Feeling guilt for things that weren‘t your fault. Being defined by your weaknesses. Playing the role of victim and blaming someone . You’re not responsibile for the abuse, but you are responsible for how you respond to it. Second question:
Who framed you negatively? What was the result – the frame that was constructed?
Without going into specifics, my framing came out, "I'm a blemished product. Not quite good enough. I must prove to myself and to the world that I am good enough." And a life long pattern emerged of performance for approval - to the deteriment of building relationships.
More tomorrow on "reframing."
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