To Grow, See What Needs Growth

“Keep your elbow in. A straight line from shoulder to elbow to wrist. The ball has a better chance of going through the rim when it is being projected by a sraight line.” This interchange takes place on the basketball practice floor, coach with player. Coach paints a picture of what he wants the team to be doing, personally and corporately . Then he corrects those techniques that obstruct reaching the goals.

It is the same for spiritual growth. Through Scripture, God gives us a picture of what becoming Christ-like is and how to experience it. Then He observes what blocks that objective in us and causes or allows some adversity, some person or some concept in Scripture to expose it. Thus we grow the most and the deepest when we are willing to see what needs growth. Open to constructive criticism. Not defensive or rationalizing.

So one of the greatest love gifts we can receive is to have a friend lovingly and with encouragement confront us when he/she observes some aberrant behavior or attitude. This happens most frequently in small growth groups, but certainly can happen one to one. Like the situaion I shared last week with Keith confronting me with emotional neglect of my wife. I desire to be a godly husband so that hit me between the eyes, woke me up and I’m being much more sensitives to Theresa and by the grace of God filling her tank.”Theresa, I’ll probably need some reminders along the way.” Creatures of habit, you know

Then, just a few days ago I received an email constructive criticism in response to my blog that quite fully exposed my achilles heel – the driveness to achieve, to perform at the expense of neglecting ministry opportunity now especially to grandkids. I needed to hear that and emailed him back, thanking him for the note. He replied saying that was a very hard thing for him to do because he feared that would damage our relationship. (We are long-distant friends.)

“Burwick you say that you base your foundation principles on Scripture. Where do you find, ‘we grow the quickest and deepest when we see most clearly what needs growth.’”

Two Scriptures come to mind:

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work

Scripture teaches us what is truth, shows us how we miss it, leading the Christian to repentance, obedience and change that brings growth (maturity).Christ-likeness. And that transaction can take place horizontally also:

Galatians 6:1-2 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

In summary, see your weakness, your faults, your sins. Repent. Do a 180..To the person who wants to grow in Christ-like character, seeing what needs growth and appropriating God’s empowerment are two key elements to maturity.

So, whether the confrontation is from Scripture or from a friend, a wise person who wants to mature in his walk with Christ will explore the criticism, learn from it and grow.

Thanks Keith and ______ (anonymous) for your gift of love. I’m a better man, in part, because of you.

Do  you have such a friend? Are YOU such a friend?

I am leaning that besides having the treasure of a great wife, to have a friend who will tell you “when you have a booger” is a most valuable fortune. Former pastor, seminary president and co-author of Achieving High Performance Friendship, Dr. John Vawter is truly a valuable treasure to me. After he read my blog on “loggerheads” he began a poetry dual that is shown below. John gave me permission to use it. Hope you get a kick out of it.(By the way, his book is fantastic. I commend it to you.




Vawter-Burwick poetry duel in response to my blog “Loggerheads”
Posted: 28 Nov 2011 09:59 PM PST

The battle began over a barn roof. After 10 years of marital bliss, (I mean a truly wonderful marriage) Theresa and I were at loggerheads. It seemed hopeless.
Our daughter and family and we are razing three old barns to get the material to build a nice barn on our property. I don’t mind heights, so I was on top of the barn pulling off the metal roofing. I felt very safe. But the rest of the party saw my Parkinson’s instability and thought otherwise. Especially Theresa. “You are not going back on that roof,” was her directive. I was mad. She was mad because I wanted to.

As our good friends Steve and Kathrena pointed out, the roof was just the tip of the iceberg.
r my part, life has provided me with “you can’t do that” challenges. My first academic dean at DSU told me that stuttering would hinder my college education. Consider not graduating. At NNC, the academic dean said, “no school would hire me to coach and teach because of stuttering. So, along with feeling I was a flawed instrument, I had two significant people endorsing that feeling. Having to prove I was a capable person has been a life-long ball and chain around my leg.

So, here was Theresa telling me I couldn’t accomplish something. Thus, she sees me as one who will do what he wants to do ( very self-centered)- no matter her feelings and that made her furious. I won’t go into her life details, but to say that fear has been an achilles heel for her all of her life. We were both stuck in our emotional do-do.

One fateful but freeing experience occurred as we shared with our daughter and husband. I asked them if they saw me as very selfish. After a short pause, Keith said, “Your wife is empty. You’re so busy with rock work and the other work that you enjoy, that you’re not filling her emotional tank.” Or words to that effect that hit me like a ton of bricks.

That experience has been a turn-around for me, as I’ve quit pointing the finger at Theresa and focused on me.. on my sin. My prayer became, “God , change my heart. I don’t want some surface behavioural change - doing the right things for her, I want a whole new perspective on her and on my relationship with her.”

I began to focus on how valuable a treasure she is to me and how I needed (and wanted) to protect and nourish that treasure.The results have been amazing, not perfect but to me, incredible.

Vawter Begins E-mail Interchange

We sing, “Santa up on the roof top, Ho Ho Ho”

And, Ray, “up on the roof top, please do not go”

If you are up there and take a dive

We are afraid that you will not be alive

Dear brother, we want you to be here with us and to be seen

We do not want you with a spattered spleen

You will meet God as you wrestle this through

You will meet Him in brand new ways that is what you will do

Then you will sit down at your computer to write another blog

And your words of growth and grace will convict this spiritual log

So, dear brother, I am sure it is not easy to pull back a bit

But I know you were avoiding shoveling that horse s______

You can fool Miss T and the family back there in old Kentuck

But not the Vawter boy cuz he is a Duck

So, dear man, you are in my thoughts and prayers

Because the devil has you in his cross-hairs

He wants you to be sad, angry and mad

But the Lord wants you with peace, a smile and glad.

I believe you will walk these waters and you will conquer this trial

I bet you are already learning and that blog will make us all smile

You are a dear man, ROB, Ollie, Olaf, Ray, Doctor and Coach

So go buy your pretty wife a new gift including a broach

When you do she will give you that famous smile

And say I want you with me, Olaf, for longer than a little while

So, I am done now, my dear brother and friend

I know this trial is painful but you will meet God in new says in the end.

Response by Burwick

The rooftop is the place for me,

it is closer to God, you see

and if I fall even closer to Him I’ll be.

No falling timber to hit me on the top.

If I don’t accept the challenge, I’ll see myself a flop.

If I do happen to take a dive,

I’ll land on my head and for sure survive.

Parkinson’s would have me sit in a chair, that’s all.

I wouldn’t have to worry about having a fall.

A fractured rib is the worst I’ve felt,

So Big John, get this under your belt.

If Miss T okays it, I’m back at it again,

I hope you don’t think it is a big sin.

Vawter’s response

There once was a man named Norwegian Ray

Who said “I gotta build a barn for my hay”

He was a studly man but not always able to be smart

Sometimes his thinking was hard to distinguish sort of like modern art

He decided that although he is 72

Climbing on a barn roof was the thing to do

This decision made no sense…he had a brain of lead

If he fell off the barn he would surely be dead

If he called AZ for advice he knew what Big John would say

So from his friend he decided to stay away

The Big Olaf thought he could manipulate his smart wife

But Miss T does not want Olaf dead; she wants him with some life

So, Miss T threw a fit and she was oh so right

Cuz Olaf being on a roof is not so bright

So, the big Olaf finally did consent

And off to prayer he reluctantly went

“Dear Lord, forgive me, I have not been clear

I was selfish with my wife who is so dear”

“But, Lord, while you are at it I could use a favor and a break

No more poems from Arizona would be easy to take.

That Vawter guy is a real smart ass

No wonder he was always last in his class

So, Lord, tell him to leave me alone

And, of him, Lord, please do not make a clone.”

But, the dear Lord He said to Ray

“Bringing you up here now…NO…NO Way”

So, Ray, stay off the roof and do not throw a fit

Get out in that pasture and shovel some horse s___



Vawter Again

Miss T, Miss T, please listen to me

That man of yours will try to manipulate thee



I know this man and his competitive ways

But off the roof he will fall one of these days

You must be tough and you must be firm

I tell you, Miss T, out of your edict he will try to squirm



Put pressure on him, reach down and squeeze his balls

Say, "Buddy, if you want more pain to my friends I can make calls



You are a real man, you are the real deal, you are a stud

But, if you fall off that roof your brain will be mud



So, the answer is no, I am saying no to the roof and on you there is a hex

If you want the roof and you insist, then say good bye to your enjoyment of s--"



Miss T, Miss T, I am sure this is worrying thee

But, your man has the stubbornness of a buzzing bee



So, keep saying no and tell him there is plenty to do

If he is smart he will find it out and keep pleasuring you





Burwick’s response

I was awake at 11:30, 1:30 and now it’s two

Reading Vawter’s three poems has made me blue.

What am I to do?

Do I capitulate or do I explain

how safe It is above the cow peue

Too late in the day or early in the morn

It’s back to bed with my mind all torn.



And More

John I wish I could describe to you how uplifting and encouraging you are to me. It has been a tough 13 months and to have a brother/friend practice what he writes in a book makes me one blessed man. . .

Even though you are taking a lot of fun out of life

by encouraging T to continue the roof strife.

Tomorrow again we’ll hit the barn without a frown,

If you’ll pray for a creative way to get the roof down.

Self-centered = "I am God"

“Zedekiah was a hard and stubborn man, refusing to turn to the Lord” These were the first words I read as I asked God in my formal GC (God Connection) time where He wanted me to read this morning. It began with 2 Chronicles 36:13 regarding Zedekiah.


"I’m glad that doesn’t apply to me," I thought. "I may be hard and stuborn but I always turn to the Lord." Then that quiet little voice within said, “If you’re self centered you’re not turning to Me but to yourself.”

After Theresa and Keith’s confrontation of my self-centeredness (described in the last post), I’ve been more aware of it. I don’t know if it is a time of exaggerated self because of all the self thinking to combat the Parkinson's or if I’m feeling: “Parkinson’s symptoms are no longer creeping up on me, but seem to be lunging forward, so I’ve got to get it (what ever “it” is) done now before I lose my capacity to work. (Not realizing at the time that I was emotionly neglecting my wife.) This, along with my enjoyment of work and the life-long tendency to gain approval and acceptance through performance,  and the fact that I was an only child for nine years,  sets me up to be very “I” focused rather than “we.”

In my thinking this characteristic is not so much a relational predicament but a SIN problem. The Bible challenges the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church. I wasn’t. Call it sin. Repent – turn around and go the other way. Love her unconditionally. No matter the stance the wife is taking – adversarial or supportive, as her husband I am directed to a selfless marital love.

I’m heading that direction. Got a long ways to go.

At Logger-heads

The battle began over a barn roof. After 10 years of marital bliss, (I mean a truly wonderful marriage) Theresa and I were at loggerheads. It seemed hopeless.

Our daughter and family and we are razing three old barns to get the material to build a nice barn on our property. I don’t mind heights, so I was on top of the barn pulling off the metal roofing. I felt very safe. But the rest of the party saw my Parkinson’s instability and thought otherwise. Especially Theresa. “You are not going back on that roof,” was her directive. I was mad. She was mad because I wanted to.

As our good friends Steve and Kathrena pointed out, the roof was just the tip of the iceberg.

For my part, life has provided me with “you can’t do that” challenges. My first academic dean at DSU told me that stuttering would hinder my college education. Consider not graduating. At NNC, the academic dean said, “no school would hire me to coach and teach because of stuttering. So, along with feeling I was a flawed instrument, I had two significant people endorsing that feeling. Having to prove I was a capable person has been a life-long ball and chain around my leg.

So, here was Theresa telling me I couldn’t accomplish something. Thus, she sees me as one who will do what he wants to do ( very self-centered)- no matter her feelings and that made her furious. I won’t go into her life details, but to say that fear has been an achilles heel for her all of her life. We were both stuck in our emotional do-do.

One fateful but freeing experience occurred as we shared with our daughter and husband. I asked them if they saw me as very selfish. After a short pause, Keith said, “Your wife is empty. You’re so busy with rock work and the other work that you enjoy, that you’re not filling her emotional tank.” Or words to that effect that hit me like a ton of bricks.

That experience has been a turn-around for me, as I’ve quit pointing the finger at Theresa and focused on me.. on my sin. My prayer became, “God , change my heart. I don’t want some surface behavioural change - doing the right things for her, I want a whole new perspective on her and on my relationship with her.”

I began to focus on how valuable a treasure she is to me and how I needed (and wanted) to protect and nourish that treasure.The results have been amazing, not perfect but to me, incredible.

Flunking James chapter 1

"Learn it before you teach it!"
During the years I taught Bible classes, it seemed like the Lord would give me a topic to study, then would say, "learn this well before you teach it... not just head knowlege but concepts into shoe leather."

I'm chagrined to say, I may have James 1:2- 8, 12 into slipper wear, but shoeleather? Nyet! The more I dig into this passage, the more I see  how far short I fall in passing the test. So, I'll stay in the closet till I have a better  handle on the  principle of rejoicing during tough times. Will check in later.

Our newest grandson, Noah, adopted by the Williams family

THOUGHTS INTO CAPTIVITY

“You sound real good.” These same words that I spoke of in the last post confronted me two weeks later by my “old” college roomie, Jerry Isaacson. “This is the best I’ve heard you in a long time” My response this week was 180 different from two weeks ago with Mark. “ Thanks Jerry, I’m doing well.”


This response came after two weeks of diligent mental work, bringing my thoughts into captivity. Changing the way I thought – of how much I’ve lost this past year to all that I have - was not an easy task..We’re creatures of habit. Habits are hard to break. But break my “loss focus” must or self pity and depression would have been full throttle.

I’m not speaking of denial. I’m well aware of the loss of my Nampa band of brothers and scores of friends. Significant loss of money in the real estate arena. The many losses from Parkinson’s –balance, memory, driving, etc. and the 4-wheeler accident. If these losses became my focus, and at times they did, self pity and depression were a step away.

I’m finding that as I’m more consistent with bringing those thoughts into captivity and replacing them with gratitude for all I do have, life has a brighter aura and I function better. More at peace. More productive. “We become like the books we read and the people with whom w associate. As I spend time with positive people and fill my mind with positive, healthy books; as I train my self to to see life from God’s perspective, there is more hope, more joy, more contentment and more purpose for living.

That is not just good psychology, but it is based on Scripture like Phillipians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise

Praising and thanking God are great antidoes for what is ailling you and a great precursor to strong mental health.

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

This sets us up for an indepth examination of James chapter1. “Rejoice when the going is rough.” YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING

As A Man Thinks

A fresh look at “as a man thinks in his heart so is he.”


Wake up call yesterday.. Chatted with my good friend Mark Wheeler in Idaho. One thing he said clobbered me between the eyes and he didn’t even realize it I’m sure. He said, “you sound real good.”

My initial reaction was an inner voice saying, “but, you don’t know how much I’ve lost through Parkinsons , the four wheeler accident and relationally – can’t drive anymore, can’t do … any more, etc. My litany of loss.

I could have said all that truthfully, but I’m confident that God used Mark’s statement and my initial response to get my attention of stinkin thinkin. Like looking into those big distorted mirrors that give you a crazy picure of yourself. A totally distorted picture of self.

God semed to be saying to me, “What is your focus, all you have lost or is it all you have gained? All you can’t do or all you can do? Remember, My son, I am God – sovereign over all - yet I’m your loving heavenly Papa who is working everything to your good.”

I don’t see all the value of what I’m going through. What is my gain, Papa?

“I’m slowing you down so that you can enjoy people and life in general more. I’m showing you the importance of inter-dependent relationships. And there is much more that you’ll discover as time goes on.”

Gain through loss.

Thanks God for the effective GC (God connection) time. I’ve switched my focus and that gives me hope. Thanks Mark for our friendship Time to do some ground-tilling.

“As a man thinks in his heart so is he.”

Poodle ponderings

Gary responded to my last post about our poodle. “Ray, you have joined the fraternity of the insane. What else could explain this behavior? It will get worse—you will find yourself bonding with the varmint before you know it. You should have gotten a female: they bond with one servant but males will be fickle and take anything they can get from anyone. Your dog Lovely, will play you for all you are worth.


Oh, by the way, those brown deposits that you need to pick up daily, those are called nutrient nuggets among the more refined. You will develop many other euphemisms on your own.”

Gary elucidated on the many inconveniences and the joys of having dogs. They have 2 Maltese. He continued with “Have I mentioned expenses? Eleven hundred to purchase, vet exam and first set of shots at $600, neutering both at $800, replacement of carpet and pad at $1800, fencing the backyard at $3200…

Ray, now you are a real man. You now will know what it means to lay down your wants for a friend, your wife. And you will always have someone there to remind you how shallow you are. Pups are God’s agents for our sanctification. You may even experience true sinless perfection (smile).

I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, “a man is getting better when he sees more clearly the evil that is within him. A man is getting worse when he see his badness less and less.”

Lovey ( might call him “Tiger” because he is so ferocious – smile) has a role in my life, besides being a fun companion. He is a revealor of my badness. As the last post indicated - my selflilshness. Impatience. He knocks the stuffing out of any kind of schedule that can become rigid. As I’m writing this post he has just knocked over the container that holds my spent pistachio shells. All over the floor. What a mess. And now it is the kleenex box. Shredded kleenex. I better close this and start cleaning up and give him some eyeball time..Oops, before I could move he got into my horizontal filing systm - the floor.

See you later.

G.C. God Connectivity.- Poodle Style

G.C. God Connectivity. Had plenty opportunity yesterday.

1.Chopping wood, fell on the upright axe handle. On the way down: “God, help.” On the ground: “Thanks Father. That could have been real serious.” GC

2. A friend needed some money. If I loaned or gave him that request, would that be good Christian charity or would it be enabling the person’s irrespsonsibility? Time for GC, for His wisdom.

3. Wife and I fussed. GC time: “Father, give both of us the wisdom we need to see and own our part in the conflict, then the desire to repent and make it right.” (A very profitable GC time.)

4. Constipation early this morning. We won’t go into the details about that. Plus many little and big things encouraging to GC with petition or praise.

Paul has an interesting perspective on connection with the Father, found in Colossians 3:1-2: 1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.

Commentaries are quite obscure about the meaning of this pasage.We know it doesn’t suggest we become so heavenly minded that we’re no earthly good. No. I think God is saying through Paul. “I created you. I want the best for you. Set your mind on me, Place your trust in me.I’ll meet all your needs.”

“But God,” someone cries. “You say in Genesis that it is not good for man to be alone. I’ll create him a helpmate. My helpmate doesn’t want to meet my needs. He is so selfish.” That could be my wife Theresa pleading Him to meet needs, that out of selfishness, I’m not meeting.

This is fresh material. I’m currently sitting at my desk typing this post. At my feet is a cuddly ball of fur. A two pound, seven week old toy poodle. I don’t like animals in the house leaving their deposits for all to see and smell, so always told Theresa “no” to her request for a house cat.

Well, last week she received a call from a friend who said a friend of hers was looking for a home for a blind in one eye toy poodle – free. Was it the Lord who whispered in my ear, “All Theresa has done for you, taking care of you, that would be a memorable love and thankyou gift for her. Or was it just the idea of having a $500 dog – free? I’d like to think the former.

However, being the spiritual giant I am , I thought I should check what the Bible says about dogs. The first was 1 Kings 14:11: The members of Jeroboam’s family who die in the city will be eaten by dogs, and those who die in the field will be eaten by vultures. I, the LORD, have spoken.’”

I don’t want a man eating dog. I don’t think the toy poodle would be in that category. So I look at the nex t reference of dogs mentioned in the Bible. Psalm 59:6 says: They come out at night, snarling like vicious dogs as they prowl the streets.

I don’t think a toy poodle would prowl the streets. So I checked out Proverbs 26:17. It says: 17 Interfering in someone else’s argument is as foolish as yanking a dog’s ears.

No application there. How about Luke 16:21? As Lazarus lay there longing for scraps from the rich man’s table, the dogs would come and lick his open sores.

Now that one will preach! I don’t have any open sores that I know of. Some poison ivy is all. But having “Lovey,” as he is currently named, has certainly opened up some sores. A sore of self-centeredness.

Look with me at the early morning scene in our garage. I’ve taken him out to eliminate his body’s waste material. I waited and waited. He just stood at my feet wanting to be held. I waited. Finally he crawled under the golf cart. Did he do his job there? Got a flashlight. Stooped down to peer under the cart. Saw something but didn’t know what it was. Forty-five minutes later, I carry him back inside and rather gruffly say to Theresa, “There has to be a renegotiation of our contract. I happily got you the dog as an appreciation gift for all you do for me, but I didn’t sign up for piss and poop patrol. Early morning is when I have my GC time.” (Reading the Bible, praying, etc.)

Honestly, dear friend, as I read this, it just hit me. What could I have accomplished spiritually by 45 minutes in the Word as compared to the moments that dog exposed my selfishness, resulting in repentance. I had GC (God connection.) Sin – exposed and repented of brings growth and freedom. Helps marital relationships also!!! Beware the dog!

Q.T. vs.G.C.

This topic has been brewing for some time. Don't know how many posts there will be. But let's go

“Have you had your quite time today?” If asked that question, most believers in Jesus would translate that to mean, “have you set aside time to pray, read the Bible, or in some fashion connect formally with God?” They would answer accordingly.


For most of my 72 years I have been a very disciplined person. Have many faullts, but laziness isn’t one of them. Thus, for over 60 years I’ve begun most every day with a formal connection with God – prayer, study, memorize, etc. However, of late, I’ve had a new insight. Whether I’ve heard this from some other source or it has just come to me, I don’t know. But here it is:

As important as a formal connection with God is (quiet time), even more so is what Brother Lawrence calls practicing the presence of God, found in his book by that title. An ongoing awareness of God and a growing connectivity with Him. Paul, in Colossians 3:1-2 presents a slightly different slant and challenges us to fix our thoughts on things above, not on things on earth. In First Thessalonians his charge is “pray without ceasing.” In Romans it is “rejoice evermore:” Give thanks for and in all things.

Notice, the link with God is not a 15 to 30 minute session, but an on-going connectedness that employs a deep relational focus lifting us through and above our circumstances, however severe they may be.

The contrast between a formal quiet time and an ongoing connectvity with God came through loud and clear this week. I was having my “quiet time with God” early in the morning, reading James one focusing on the word “ patience.” That afternoon I was having a dickens of a time repairing a rabbit cage. Just couldn’ t get my fingers and the little wires to co-operate. Patience was waning. Frustration setting in…until I recalled the word I studied that morning. Patience.

Which setting provided the greatest opportunity for growth? The instruction of James one provided the insight or knowledge and the rabbit cage situation provided the occasion for shifting head knowledge into shoe leather. Both needed. However without the shoe leather, the knowledge just seems to lead to spiritual pride.

Would you allow me to exchange that antiquated term “quiet time“ with “GC”? Meaning, God Connectivity.Whether it‘s the formal, sit down with open Bible and notebook devotions as some would call it, or the bringing into consciojus awareness of God throughout the day, it is GC. God Connection. Intentional, mental “exercise.”

Christ indwells every besliever. So there is a connecion all the time with the Godhead – conscious or unconscious. However, I’m speaking of the time we bring God into our conscious thoughts.

Some set their watch or phone alarms to go off every hour on the hour as a reminder to ”think God thoughts.” Because God is sovereign – all powerful, who doesn’t allow anything to come His children’s way without His permission, I can trust Him. I’m beginning to see God in most everything. So instead of setting an alarm, I’m endeavoring to develop an ungoing, ever present grateful atitude. “Thanks, God,” is becoming the foremost word ii my life.

Parkinson’s disease; is in part responsible for growth in a grateful attitude, leading to GC.. I fall a lot – sometimes as much as 5 times a day. “Thanks Papa. That hurt but it could have been worse.Thanks that it wasn’t worse”….until one day two weeks ago...I fell hard on my left side. The rib cage took a bea ting. “ Thanks Lord. it hurts but it could have been much worse.”

Three hours later. For the second time, a fall. Hit the same spot one rib higher.

“Oophda, Abba Papa, that hurts times two, but it could have been worse.”

Two hours later, another fall. You guessed it – hit. the same spot. A cry of pain plus tears of agony preceeded the exercise of gratitude. “Father I don’t know if I can take this anymore. The pain is severe now but it’ll be worse when I cough or sneeze. How long will this go on until death? By faith I say thanks, because You promise to work everything that happens to me for my good, the good of others and for your glory.Teach me Father. How is this to be used for my good? What is the value. You certainly could prevent this falling and subsequent pain. Help me under stand according to James 1:5.”

The pain is faced. No unhealthy “Big boys don’t cry” repression of feelings. As the pain is processed with God, the focus changes f rom the adverse situation to seeking to learn the significance of it – its value. God’s purpose through it.

That is valuable, healthy and productive GC!























1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.

Reflections from Gary Cottle

Yesterday my dermatologist removed a chunk of skin from my forearm. A couple months ago, I had noticed two freckles were getting larger, merging, darkening, reddening, lightening, changing. I made the appointment resulting in removal for biopsy of the aforementioned hide. Now I have a small wound (1/2” square) down to tissue with the outer skin removed.


I went to the doctor as a curative measure to change something that was damaged on my body. Over 60-plus years of exposure to sun has damaged my skin and I am prone to actinic keratosis (pre-cancerous lesions which left untreated can become melanomas). I visit the dermatologist twice a year and normally he freezes off a couple dozen spots each visit; I avoid exposing unprotected skin to sunlight and keep an eye out for anything unusual. I am vigilant about my skin. Today, my arm is tender but I chose to be wounded to stop a greater ill.

Wholeness is much like my wound—what we don’t prevent, we must cure. Our good Brother Ray has shared much of my story (Montana Gary) in this blog and in the last couple years has shared much of the pain of his own losses. This sharing isn’t to glorify what we experience but to encourage ourselves and others to recognize the pains of life and honestly, curatively live toward healing. Because I desire wholeness in my physical body, I am willing to recognize, be honest and treat the damage I find. I am willing to suffer the pain of the wound in order to stop the damage before it spreads.

Many of us have emotional wounds from years of exposure to life—friends, family, business, churches, the world. We can either ignore/deny the wounds or we can be honest about what we experience and use my doctor’s suggestions. After the procedure, I was given a handout on wound care which is summarized by three points:

1. KEEP IT CLEAN. The first step was to remove the damage, recognize it and cut it out, stop the spread. While it was painful and something I would prefer to avoid, healing cannot begin until the wound is exposed. Much of the pains of life is like this—we ignore, deny, hide, overlook the damage until it becomes threatening enough to cause too much pain to ignore. Then we take it to God. How much less we would suffer if we went earlier, recognizing the damage for what it is and depending upon Him for the curative process.

2. KEEP IT MOIST. After removal, I have a sore which needs care. What used to be on my forearm is gone but where it was there is a hole which needs to be filled. This will take time as the body regenerates. Emotional damage is similar in that it takes time beyond recognition to heal what has been lost. During this process, the Spirit of God can be the anointing salve that keeps the moistness so that the wound does not heal with a distortion. Current medical practice is to keep the dryness of the wound minimal so a scab doesn’t twist and pull the skin being formed. We are like that in emotional healing as it takes time to allow God’s Spirit to minister to us and reveal the process so we don’t become dry and twisted, being worse than the beginning. Hardness is not helpful.

3. KEEP IT COVERED. The wound on my arm does not need more of what caused the damage; it needs to be protected, sheltered, covered. Our emotions likewise need protection. When I first began recovery, my emotions were very sensitive to additional damage from others. It was a rawness that was easily irritated. While there were times I needed to face more damage than I was comfortable with at the time, there were also periods when I simply needed God’s covering upon my life and His care of my wounds without other disturbances. As I have a bandage on my forearm today, I know that there is healing taking place and eventually the cover must be removed but only in God’s good time.

I WEPT

I wept. Last week was a week of losses that brought tears. The first, not a biggie in the life of most people. Basketball has always been an integral part of my life. From playing to coaching. I shot some hoops at my granddaughter’s volleyball practice and found I had no legs. A good shot begins in the legs and flows up and out through the extended wrist and fingers.The accident of nearly one year ago has robbed me of basketball. No tears for this loss, but the stage was set.


Took a nasty fall and really banged up my ribs – left side.It illicited my normal response – “Lord, thanks. It hurts but could have been worse.”

Five minutes later. Another fall. Same spot, one rib lower. For the first time I wept.Tears from physical pain but more so, tears of “Is this what my life is going to be like?” Frustration. Fear. Loss. Stirred in a little cup of self pity.

Lasted a couple hours, because I had jumped (as described in the last posts.) Jumped back into the arms of my Heavenly Papa who lovingly tells me, “Trust me Ray. I will work this out for your best, for the good of others and for my Glory.”

Yes, Father. I trust you. I don’t need to focus on the “what ifs” of the future.” And then I’m reminded of Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all peace and joy as you trust in Him; so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

A subsequent fall brought the loving, firm words of my wife, “Ray it is time to stick close to that walker.”

Loss. Loss of free perambulating. I wept.

I took my four-wheeled walker outside. You guessed it. Both the walker and I fell. Where did I land? Yes, left side. Rib high.

Lesson learned? Allow myself to own my human feelings. Then go “upstairs” with them, with hope – not in my circumstances but in God alone..

Jump Into ?

In the last blog I “jumped.” From what to what? From trying to understand why God was seemingly not answering my prayers (the way I thought best.) Jumped from the subsequent cynicism and resentment I had toward God. From confusion about the effectiveness of prayer.

I jumped from - to a simple “trust and obey.” The Bible is replete with examples of ultimate success stemming from the simple outlook of “Trust God and obey Him. Hannah Whitall Smith captures the essence in her book “The Normal Christian Life.”

She says: “Nothing that is not part of God’s will is allowed to come into the life of someone who trusts and obeys Him. This truth should be enough to make our life one of ceaseless thanksgiving and joy, because God’s will is the most pleasant, hopeful and glorious thing in the world. It is the continuous working of His omnipotent power for our benefit, with nothing to prevent it IF WE REMAIN SURRENDERED and believing.” This world view is based on Romans 8:28-29.

The only problem I have with Ms. Smith’s words is that God’s will is always pleasant. The cross wasn’t pleasant for Christ nor is “death of self” pleasant for the follower of Christ. Not pleasant but so productive. Death of self can lead to Christ’s resurrection life living through us. Loving the unlovely. Forgiving the unforgiveable. His wisdom for our ignorance and His strength for our weakness.

The jump gives me the hope that as bad as Parkinson’s may get, God will work in it for my good, the good of others and to His glory. No matter the frequency of stuttering, He will bring good out of it. (It doesn’t feel that way when the stuttering frequency accelerates and words won’t flow at all. I have to spell the word.) Just a sidelight here: sometimes if I get stuck on a word if I say “damn-it” the word pops out. Not a good technique used when I was the Scripture reader for church!!!

Have you jumped?

One of our bunnies for sale. Theresa and grandchildren are raising rabbits with profits going to organiations that drill for water in impoverished areas of the world. Need a rabbit?

WHY TRUST

Barron Olaf, my two-year-old grandson, stands on the edge of the swimming pool. I am in the pool waist-deep imploring him, “jump to me Barrron.” No problem. A little hesitation. Quick splash into my arms.


Why the hesitation? It’s scarey jumping into a watery abyss. Why only a short hesitation? I’m real close so he has to only lean to reach me, and Barron has learned from previous experience with his dad that, though scarey, it is safe.

As I take a couple steps away from him in the water, his faith in me waivers but the jump is always consumated. He trusts that I won’t go out too far that isn’t safe to jump.

Just a simple little allegory, depicting the “Trust and Obey” of last posting. In my 65 of 72 years that God and I have walked together, there has been no time that He has proven untrustworthy. He has always been there for me, meeting my needs. Oh, sometimes He allowed quite a splash before I reached His arms…deaths, vocational and personal challenges. At times it is hard to hear him say "jump"cuz I don't see Him or sense His presence.

Like this last few months.- seemingly unanswered prayer. Worsening of Parkinson’s symptoms. I’m falling frequently. Getting banged up, but no broken bones. The dyskinesia has me bobbing and reeling – at times, very noticeable. Speech fluency more and more distorted, etc. God seemed to be on lunch break. I neglected my faith’s fundamentals. Got confused and resentful.

Not unlike the Boston Celtics under Coach Red Auerback during their perenniel championship days. Auerack was asked why they were so successful. His report, “We stick with the fundamentals.”

After Auerback retired from coaching, Boston spiraled downhill (until lately). They got away from the fundamentals for a few years.

Like the Celtics, I neglected utilizing the basic fundamentals of my walk with God when He says in Isaiah 43: Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. 2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. 3 For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. ..because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.

Basic fundamental:

• God calls me by name

• I am His

• I am precious to Him and loved by Him

• In God’s sovereinty, He gave me or allowed me to have the adversity of Parkinson’s and also of stuttering. We observe in Isaiah 30: Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you… So it will be when the LORD begins to heal his people and cure the wounds he gave them.

• God uses my adversity to teach me until He ultimately heals me (which might not be until my death/resurrection.)

Trust and obey. Remember, I am His and He is mine. He is my ultimate Papa who always wants the best for me.

So I am standing at the edge of the pool being implored to jump into His arms. Am I back to trusting Him? As we say in North Dakota, “Ya shoer, you betcha.” I jump.

2 of our $100 bunnies

Post Breakthrough

It seems too simple. The two afore blogs indicated my hang-ups. The anger to God – gone. Cynicism about seeming unanswered prayer – dissipated. Confusion about prayer – never will understand all the dynamics. And that is ok.


Where did this freedom originate? It seems too simple. But here was (is) my solution – learned as a child, relearned at 72. (Slow learner!) TRUST AND OBEY. Trust God as He is exposed in Holy Writ and do (obey) what He directs through His Word.

If God seems far away – trust Him.

If prayers aren’t answered as I desire – trust Him.

If speaking fluency doesn’t occur – trust Him.

If Parkinson’s symptoms continue to worsen – trust Him.

Insomnia issue? Much better. Don’t know why.

As I trust Him more deeply and do what He directs in His Word, I’m at peace. Simple, but so effective (and challenging).

The song “Trust and obey” describes it well.

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

More later.

BREAKTHROUGH IN SHOELEATHER

I finished last posting, saying I had a 1 a.m. break through. I haven’t written since because I wanted the concept to germinate and to experience some testing to see if it was truly of the Lord. I wanted to make sure I had a good handle on the issue and that it wasn’t just an emotional experience with no lasting effect. Oven baked. No quickie microwave. The learning ex perince “well done” with some portions of meat still needing oven time.


Break through. Break through what? Through the confusion of “Why does God seem so unresponsive to my prayers of petition?” The giving to me of what I perceive are His good gifts according to Matthew 7:11.Especially my big three: 1) less stuttering and more fluency; 2)Less dyskinesia and falling related to the PD; 3) sleep instead of insomnia.

The breakthrough? One word: HUMILITY.

“Humility,” you say. “What in the world does that have to do with your situation?” Allow me to explain. .

When was the last time you heard a sermon on humility? When was the last time you asked Christ to make you humble? Frankly, in my 65 years of walking with Him, I’ve never asked for humility.

Yet, Christ describes Himself as “the Son who does nothing in Himself.” In Phillippians “He (Christ) humbled Himself, therefore God exalted Him.” Jesus taught humility: “Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly of heart. Matt.11:29

Which leads us to the definition of humility. Andrew Murray describes it as “simply the sense of entire nothingness which comes when we see how truly God is all and in which we make way for God to be all. Humility is the acknowledgement that self has nothing good in it, except as an empty vsessel which God must fill. A surrendering of the total self to God.”

Secular psychology would have a real problem with this view. Some call it “worm theology.” However, if our focus is God’s all-powerful, all loving being, how can we but see in contrast our nothingness – yet, AS CHRIST FOLLOWERS being filled with God’s all-powerful, all loving completeness! A very healthy balance.Nothing of “self.” Focus on Christ living through me.

Possibly an apppropriate summary of Murray’s book Humilty would be his words: “Humility is simply the disposition which prepares the soul for living on trust. And every, even the most secret, breathing of pride in self-seeking, self-will, self confidence or self-exaltation is just the strengthening of the self which cannot enter the kindgom or possess the things of the kingdom, because it refuses to let God be what He is and must be: their All in All.”

For my breakthrough, point one: I desire to be a godly man, “being confomed to the image of Christ.” That has been a life-long commitment.

Point two: growth in humility would be part of that conformation to Christlikeness.

Point three: I stutter. Talk funny, sometimes can’t talk at all. Good for growth in humility. Same with PD.Walk funny. Sometimes can’t walk at all. Both embarrasing but good for growth in humility. I’ve thought of these two as character builders for many years and 90% of the time I’m accepting of them. Possibly a third of the time I can even rejoice in the adversity (James 1:2-4) How ever, as the problems escalate I have wanted Good to intervene.

Now humility puts a whole new spin on petitionary praying. Petition prayers for myself may not be answered the way I had hoped. I desire character growth plus the experience of becoming like Christ in the arena of humility. I hate to admit it, but I need the humbling effect of PD and stuttering, because my default is the ugliest of sins – spiritual pride. The attitude that got Lucifer kicked out of heaven.

In praying for others, I believe I know myself well enough that if God consistently answered my prayers of petition for others, I’d have a tendency to become spiritually proud. “Hey, there goes Ray Burwick. He is a spiritual giant. You need any prayers answered? Call on Ray to pray for you.” I’ve been aware of this for a long time and have been asking God to break me of it. He is, but a ways to go.

So, since the “break through,” I’m petitioning God for self and others out of obedience to Biblical directives… not understanding the dynamics. For example, a friend has a need or a tough challenge. So I pray for him, even as I ponder questions about how prayer works. Will God respond to him if I don’t pray for him? And, how many pray-ers does it take to get through to heaven and see God work?

A friend needs a job. Are his prayers sufficient for God to move in the heart of some employer? Is God more responsive to ten people praying for a job for him? To 100 pray-ers?

I don’t understand all this, but I know that as we follow Biblical guidelines, (pray without ceasing) we’ll be successful (Joshua 1:8).

Wrapping it up: I’m not perturbed with God or cynical because I can see His objective for me is not only character growth but developing the Christ-like quality of humility. However I’m still a little confused regarding the dynamics of prayers of petition.

So, I pray for fellowship with God and to seek His wisdom. And,.I petition God but I’m endeavoring to allow God to be All in All - for me and for others.

As I fix my thoughts in this direction, I’m at peace and experiencing joy and contentment from a deeper intimacy with Abba Papa. Still more growth needed.

PERTURBED WITH GOD

I’ve been challenged recently to pray according  to God’s personality, not according to His power. I think the  reason for the challenge was that I have grown confused, somewhat cynical and a little bit perturbed with God. Why? Because my prayers of petition were seemingly going unanswered or at least not answered in the way I thought was best or as the Bible seemed to promise.

For example,  my insomnia, which I’m told is credited to Parkinson’s.  Now there is no Scripture that promises healing for stuttering or Parkinson’s, but insomnia is addressed in Psalm 127:2  It is vain for you to rise up early,  To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.

“Now God,” I complain, “am I not one of your beloved? Severe insomnia is a significant challenge. I’ve tried man’s ways to get prepared for sleep.  Results? Zip.

I’ve “let my requests be made known to You” according to Philippians 4. Nothing or very little.

I’ve searched my heart to determine if there are any emotional or spiritual blockages. Silence!

Is this Psalm written to someone else or, like the food rules of the Old Testament, don’t necessairly apply now?” Confusion.

I still believe in prayer, but at this point  in my journey, solely as a means to know God better and as a means of having fellowship with Him. I have trouble with that view of prayer because the Bible directs me to petition God for myself and for others. “You have not because you ask not.”

Out of prayer habit, I find myself petitioning God for something or someone, but usually cloak it with “unless you have a purpose for the adversity or if you have a better plan disregard this request, Father.” That kind of praying sounds wishy-washy. No faith believing.

            Matthew 7:11 has always been an intriguing portion of  Scripture. It states “So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

Don’t get me wrong.. God has been so good to me for which I’m very grateful. But numerous are the challenges in the Bible that directs us to let our requests be made known to God, like Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

            “Now God, as my Father wanting to give me good gifts and be responsive to my petitions, (according to Your word), why not speaking fluency rather than stuttering? And why not freedom from Parkinson’s? Or, the sleep issue, and the marriage I prayed for that ended in a split, plus more petitions for myself and for others. Why do You seem so unresponsive?"

            As I am writing this section it is 1 a.m. July 23, 2011 And I’ve just had a breakthrough. I’ve been reading Andrew Murray’s book Humility, beauty of holiness. I’ll share the details in my next blog

Adjustments

I have been working on this blog posting for a number of weeks now and I just can’t get it to flow. I think he blockage is I’M HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME INERNALIZING AND APPLYING THE CONTENT TO MY OWN LIFE.


So, here goes. Maybe I can learn more as I type. Pictured on my knees for two reasons:  bowing before the Lord and can't fall when I'm on my knees.

Could one of the greatest marks of maturity be the ability to adjust? MSN.com gives us some adjustment challenges from the world’s persective, like

“5,000 cops deployed as Greeks launch ‘massive’ 48-hour strike

Iran: Our missiles can reach US bases

Blaze rages near nuclear plant.

Some definite opportunities to make major adjustments.

Possibly you relate better with MSN’s quibs on belly fat, or giving birth or losing your job.

Adjustments. Life is about adjustments. I must be a slow learner, but this is the first time I’ve connected adjustment and maturity. St. Paul’s words are the epitome of adjustment challenge: “In whatever state I’m in I’ve learned to be content.”

Think of the adjustments Paul had to make – from being stoned and left for dead to imprisonment. Yet, “I have learned to be content.” Notice the word “learned” – a process. Adjustment leading to contentment can be learned.

I’m presently in a steep learning curve. And frankly, I’m struggling – not over any one issue, but the culmination of losses that been posted prevoiously. Driving, close friendships, ministry (as I knew it,) balance (frequently fall), energy and strength and more. Adjustments.

We are in our new house. After battling a plethora of road blocks these past 7 months, we’re in – well, partially. Storage units in Idaho and Kentucky are emptied. Our basement is full of stuff. Boxes everywhere. Adjustments!

How do we reach that adjustment pinnacle of being content, wherever? Check out the following sequence.

1. Recognition. As followers of Jesus, we are blessed with the knowledge that our loving Heavenly Father wants the best for us. So spend consistent time in the Bible learning about Abba PaPa. Learn how He wants to use everything we experience for our good, the good of others and for His glory. I need to remind myself of this every time I want to go some place and can’t drive.

2. Acceptance. No bitterness about the situation, but not rejoicing either. A cognitive exercise of “whatever my lot in life, I’ll build on it.

3. Rejoicing. Appropriating God’s resources through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Some adjustments are so difficult that the Holy Spirit has to do through us what is impossible to do in our own strength. Like following Biblical guidelines of “rejoice evermore; give thanks in and for all things.”

For example adjustments I‘m endeavoring to make now are physical and relational. I’m consistently encountering tasks that I have been able to perform all my life that are now becoming impossible because of the Parkinson’s balance challenge and the nerve damage from the 4 wheeler accident. The Parkinson’s symptoms have really accelerated this year – dyskinesia, loss of balance and Pd is the reason I’m not ldriving any more. Tha t is tough. The adjustment indicates my maturity or lack thereof..

James in 1:2-4, gives a clea challenge: Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

I need a lot of work on this. How about you? You may not stutter or have PD, but all have some adversity. How is your maturity level?

Where is Olaf

My special friend Big John V.rousted me out of blog doldrums with the following "poetry." (Olaf is my middle name.)

"Sometimes I feel like a spiritual log

Then I am challenged by one of Olaf’s blogs

But, alas, I am afraid the man has forgotten his friend
And been shoveling on flowers what comes out of the horse’s back end

What am I going to do…where am I going to go?
If Olaf does not get his blog machinery up by to the farming saying “No”

I guess I will be out here in the dry and thirsty land
Simply looking alone to Jesus the very best that I can

It is not easy when entire sanctification keeps alluding my soul
And without the challenge of Burwick’s blog my heart is as black as coal

So, come on Farmer Olaf put down the shovel and then forget the manure
Let’s get some blogging done and see if you can find a word to rhyme with manure"

All right, already, Big John. I'll get back with it.

Gain Through Loss?

Not written for a while. Busy moving four storage units into our new house. Getting the landscaping going. But even more significant, wrestling with the concept of the title of this blog... gain - through - loss. What is the gain of losing my ability to drive? And all the other losses mentioned in the last posting, Life is over as I saw it. It's a new stage of life. The uncertainty of it at times is overwhelming. My only anchor is faith in God's promises. though at times shakey, holds.

Possibly an answer was provided by my daughter Gretchen, who was here for the weekend. She handed me a book by Andrew Murray, saying with tongue in cheek, "Dad, you need this."  The title of the book?
Humility. There is a whole lot of that develolping...much more needed.

So, after more prayer and pondering, I'll be back. What gain through all the loss?

Tired part 2

The feeling of fatigue is lifting  (The “I’m so tired of all the various losses – as listed in part in the last posting)” . Why? in part, I am learning and re-learning through all this emotional upheavel some key concepts.

ENTITLEMENT - I deserve.”I’ve endeavored to live a godly life.Treating people the way I’d like to be treated. Working hard. Trying to be obedient to the Master. I deserve a better outcome to the ending of my life. I had wanted to go out strong. When I don’t get what I want (lessening of pain) I get discouraged, then subtley angry at my Creator. Holding on to that anger, even unknowingly, adds emotional garbage to the fatigue. Can easily become depression.

The remedy for entitlement? The cross! “I die to the expectation of having my way. I accept the lot in life that You have ordained for me and I know that you have my best in mind. Help me build on the lot you have provided.

HEALTHY DEPENDENCY: I can do it myself. I must do it myself. I was raised in a home with parents who had been through the great depression, :”You gotta do what you gotta do to get what you want. Don’t depend on others.” That can be a worthy goal for some who tend to an uhealthy dependencey; however, being so independent that you’re cut off from others flies in the face of the Body of Christ – Christians taking care of each other…utilizing their gifts to enhance the lives of those close to them. Romans 12 instructs us: Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. Loving and serving others and  willing to be loved and served. Healthy dependency.

LET GO OF THE DREAMS, THE RIGHTS, TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I’VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO DO AND PLANNED TO DO.,THAT NOW IS PHYSICALY IMPOSSIBLE. That is an ongoing challenge as I try new ventures and find a road block of weakness or loss of balance preventing the activity. This “letting go” was enhanced this week as I watched a Memorial Day program revealing war wounds.that far outdistanced my wounds.

Also, recall with me Paul’s challenges in Ephesians 3:20  Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. My plans are puny as compared to what God may want to do with, through, or for me. Trust. Wait.

Or the challenge of 2 Corinthians 12. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it ( the thorn –disease, injury, whatever) away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


God’s power shows up best in my weakness. This could get exciting as I exchange my weakness with His strength.

And lastly, the “I’m tired of all the loss” discouragement issue is abating in part by taking life one day at a time. Daily bread. Being more aware of all I have for which to be thankful. Where do I bake it today? Who needs daily bread through me today? Who should I look to for my bread of the day?

More on this later. By the way, after 7 months of roadblocks, we began moving in to our new house this week. Yea!

Tired - Angry?

Client to counsleor: “I’VE SAVED MY FAMILY SOME TURMOIL. I’VE TAKEN MY KEYS AWAY FROM MYSELF! IF THAT HAD BEEN A PERSON INSTEAD OF A TREE THAT I SIDESWIPED WHAT A HORRIBLE THOUGHT.

“But wow, the loss of freedom.Can’t just jump in the truck and go pick up rock or run an errand. I’m subject to and dependent on others’ schedules. If I live to be as old as my father was at death, that means 20 years of depending on someone else to drive me. OOPHDA

“I’M TIRED. Tired of the constant pain in foot, leg and knee. Tired of loss of balance that causes me to fall nearly daily.Tired of the dyskinesia that periodically rocks my body with constant motion. Tired of the leg spasms. And it looks like I’ll have to live with this the rest of my life. Tired of it” .

Hard-nosed Bible-beating counselor: “You’re not tired. You are angry. Mad at God because you believe that He is all powerful and could relieve you of this pain and doesn’t. You are angry because you’re not getting your way. Repent of your selfishness. Lots of people have it much worse than you.”

Client: “Pain is relative. Knowing that others have it worse than me, doesn’t help my pain. You’re just laying some guilt on me that adds to the emotional pain. And I’m not angry, just tired.”

HnBbc: “Do you think it is bad to be angry at God?” Is anger at God totally unacceptable?”

Client: “No. King David who was called a man after God’s own heart, voiced his anger. A number of the Psalms display the anger, but usually conclude with a ‘yet, I trust You God, attitude.’ I’m working on bringing my attitude into line with David’s model (which for me will be a life-long challenge.)

“By the way, this is my last visit. You may call yourself a Christian counselor, but your compassion is zip. Zilch.



Hmm! I’m wondering how many people left my counseling office with that perspective!!

Giving up Driving

Giving up driving is a real challenge. If I didn't have a loving, supportive wife it would even be harder.It is also nice to have a friend who experiences "sympatheic pain" with  me. A note fom John read:

 In the midst of your grief over your loss of driving privileges (precipitated by a poor judgement trailer wreck) Olaf maybe my story can bring a smile to your face:

Susan and I were driving to the store about 8:30 tonight...in the rain. I was going to let her off at the front door and go do an errand and pick her up at the same spot. I was telling her about your little accident and deciding to quit driving and then she screamed..."John". At that very moment I hit the string of grocery carts that the bag boy was pushing across the cross walk into the store. He was not hurt, the carts were not hurt, Susan got out and I drove on.

But, it was at the precise moment of telling Susan about you that the Sanctified Grocery Carts got the hell beat out of them. By the way, you do know how Catholics make holy water, I presume. They take ordinary tap water and boil the hell out of it.
 
The nex t day his note read :
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

BVD, Inc. announced today at a press conference held at the CNN offices that they are open for business. BVD guarantees they will demolish anything the customer needs to be demolished…and they will do it faster and cheaper than any competitor. Their motto is:

“Satisfaction guaranteed or double your junk back to you.”

BVD specializes in any size demolition work…they can handle everything from small trailers and riding lawn mowers to grocery store carts to your basic manure smelling barn. This is why their secondary motto is: “No order or odor is too big or too small.”

The officers of this new and growing company are R. Olaf Burwick and J. Eddie Vawter. Dr. Burwick, President and Chief Executive Officer said, “If this sanctified business grows as fast as the Nazzie preachers can spit out their words of wisdom from the pulpits of America, there is no reason for us not to have a public offering by the end of the year.” Rev. Dr. Vawter said, “I have no idea what is going on. Dr. Burwick asked me to listen to his 3-minute presentation and 15 minutes later I had to go to the bathroom so I said yes.”

Please remember for all your demolition needs big or small

Burwick Vawter Demolition is the one to call."

How blessed I am go have a friend like John.

Friendship's Support

A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts who you have become and still gently invites you to grow. ~ William Shakespeare

“Support is one of the great gifts and essentials of high performance friendship. To support a friend is to serve as his foundation. It is to uphold and sustain under trial or affliction with patience and tolerance.” (Vawter and Wetherbe in their manuscript ‘Achieving High Performance Friendship.’

Wives often ask for support when they are presenting a problem to their husbands. They often don’t want the problm solved. They just want to know they are being heard and supported.

On the other hand, men, in our egocentricity, don’t feel we need sjupport… until we “crash and burn.” My first awareness of need for support came when our twin son died at birth. Many friends told us of their prayer for us or gave us a supportive type scripture. But the one who I felt supported me most was the friend who called in the evening of that fateful day simply saying,” Do you need a shoulder?”

Or Dave, when my first wife died, always tuned in to support a guy who thought he was so independent, but found himself very lonely and needy. Or John, when he heard of Ann’s death, called and said, “I’ll cancel my schedule. I’ll fly out to meet you.”

And now, a very supportive family that takes up the slack, fills the gaps as Parkinson Disease steals memory and driving.

I am definitely one blessed man.
Some questions to ask ourselves as posed by Vawter and Wetherbe:

1. Can you describe a time when a friend was a “supportive friend” to you in a manner that far exceeded your expectations? What difference did it make in your life for the moment and for the future?

2. Do your friends perceive you as a supportive friend?

3. The point has been made that genuine friends want the best for us, and help us grow. How do you rank yourself in this area? Are you a genuine friend? How can you improve?

Significance of a Friend

I miss my Nampa "Band of  Brothers." The enclosed picture reminded me of the significance of friendship. The letter from Gary seen in the following, is an example of a true friend who will not only encourage but "Kick Butt" when appropriate. Gary's response came as a result of my posting of a week ago.

"For someone as wise as you are, you often miss the significance of the simple! If you were dealing with anyone else handling the volume of change and chaos that has passed through your life in the last 15 months, you would counsel then to go easy. But not with yourself—you somehow expect you should rise above being mortal and take a road beyond the rest of us.

"The simple fact of growing (or gaining through loss) is that it takes time to process, to grow into the new man as Christ reveals Himself in our inner being, as we recognize what He is showing us and accept that He is leading us beyond ourselves.

" Go easy on your judgment of the value of your journey no matter the course that God leads you on."

WHAT A SPECIAL FRIEND!

Staggering Awareness

5:30 a.m..I awaken with a staggering awareness. My driving days are fast coming to a close. The last comment my Parkinson’s doc had for me at my most recent visit was, “If you begin to show poor judgement in driving, it is time to strongly consider stopping.” I did last night. Wrecked a trailer carrying my riding lawn mower. Very poor judgement. Another loss chaulked up to Parkinson’s.


“Grieve the loss,” the counselor suggests. “Then, lets get on with living. You still have a lot of life to live and give.”

God says, “I’m still in control. I have your back covered. Still have your best in mind. This is a slowing down, more restful phase of life for you. Think of all I have empowered you to do in the past.. Allow me to give you a new vision and provide the wherewithal to accomplish it.”

Passages from Isaiah 30 come to my mind.

This is what the Sovereign LORD,


the Holy One of Israel, says:


“Only in returning to me


and resting in me will you be saved.


In quietness and confidence is your strength…”


So the LORD waits for you to come to him


so he can show you his love and compassion.


For the LORD is a faithful God.


Blessed are those who wait for his help.


19 O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem,


you will weep no more.


He will be gracious if you ask for help.


He will surely respond to the sound of your cries.


20 Though the Lord gave you adversity for food


and suffering for drink,


he will still be with you to teach you.


You will see your teacher with your own eyes.


21 Your own ears will hear him.


Right behind you a voice will say,


“This is the way you should go,


whether to the right or to the left."

So be it, Abba PaPa.

Rabbit religion

Theresa has been home from the hospital for a week. She visits the doctor three times per week for six weeks of intravaeous antibiotic treatment. Further testing has indicated no definitive diagnosis on the heart valve spot.

While celebrating her homecoming at a dinner out, she asked me this: “Is your relationship with Christ based on discipline or intimacy.” This was mid-meal. Dessert came and went. No answer,,,still don’t have one.

My discipline has waned this past year – in exercise spiritually and physically. That seems to carry over into my “feltnesss” relationship with God. I’m wondering if intimacy with God has a component of discipline.

Richard Fosters says it well in his book “Celebration of Discipline”
“What happens in (the discipline of ) meditation is that we create the emotional and spiritual space which allows Christ to construct an inner sanctuary in the heart. We who have turned our lives over to Christ need to know how very much he longs to eat with us, to commune with us (Rev.3:20 ). He desires a perpetual Eucharistic feast in the inner santucty of the heart. The discipline of meditation opens the door, and although we are engaging in specific meditation exercises at specific times, the aim is to bring this living reality into all of life.”

I’d like to experience that communion more. Like our English angora runt of the litter rabbit. We put him in with his mother for solo drinking time. He clammers from one spiggot of mother’s milk to another with a voracious appetite.We just watch with amazement at his hustling antics to get his prize. I want that same kind of “hungering and thirsting for righteousness.” And that takes the discipline of creating an inner space for Christ to be communing with me  and a drawing  of the Holy Spirit.

Theresa

Theresa is in the hospital...vegetation in a heart valve. It has rained record amounts here, but affecting a heart valve? :-)   She has had chronic coughing up of mucous. Her doctor thought as a last resort, she should have her heart checked out. Sure enough - infected heart valve. GET RIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL, the doc said and she is going through testing now.

We are sad to miss out Idaho trip for my 50th graduation anniversary.We have some very special friends there. This might be a good time for you to get a peak into Theresa's "kitchen window." She journaled the following a couple weeks ago. With her permission:

The plane was ascending out of JFK on its way to Denver.  My eyes were fixed on the little window, hoping for a glimpse of New York City. All I saw was darkness and swirling clouds. And then the coughing started. I didn’t think anything of it at first. Then I began to notice that I couldn’t really get my breath, couldn’t really get enough force to cough out whatever was stuck where it didn’t belong.  As I thought about my shallow breaths, I became increasingly worried.  Earth and help were fast fading below us. What does a person do when they’re five miles up in the air and can’t breathe!  Only several years in my past, the mere closing of the airplane door brought waves of panic.

I was on my way to Denver, home of my son and daughter-in-law and four precious granddaughters.  This would be my first visit with them since early October when Ray and I spent a couple of days there on our way to our new home in Kentucky.  A lot had happened in the intervening months, and I was looking forward to a week with them.

The travel plan was for me to leave the airport about 9:20 and land in Denver about 10:40 Mountain time – a direct flight.  Short and sweet; not to be. The plane had mechanical problems, causing the flight to eventually be cancelled.  I was put on a flight to New York City, where I would have a 7 hour lay-over. Then off to Denver.  An adventure, I thought; excellent people-watching at the airport, glimpses of the city. Nothing that day went as I thought it would.  The most exciting part of being at the airport was taxiing in and seeing planes from around the world: Israel, Singapore, Ireland.  I sat on a concourse with few people and CNN blaring loudly through the day.

But I had time to finish what I had begun on the plane – reading the book of Romans.  I was amazed at Paul’s focus on the importance of our minds.  It is the centerpiece, the control tower of our lives.  How we think determines how we live.  I recommitted myself to controlling my thoughts, submitting them to God’s truths rather than letting them run wild through corridors of fear and negativity. I left bathed in God’s word when we finally boarded the plane to head West.

A week before my trip, I was strongly drawn to Deuteronomy 33.  I opened my Bible to it one morning and felt my eyes riveted to the page which contained these verses:

There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, Who rides on the heavens to help you and through the clouds in His majesty.  The Eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

As the plane continued to ascend from JFK, my battle to breathe continued. Those verses bathed my mind and I felt no panic, which was nothing short of a miracle!  I finally got up from my seat thinking that I might breathe better if I were standing.  I walked back to the restroom and gasped and prayed to the God Who was riding on the heavens to help me, Whose arms were under me.  I didn’t get better and left that cubby hole to stand in the aisle.  Three stewardesses were standing right there beginning to fix drinks.  I told them that I was having trouble breathing. They sat me in a seat in the back and gave me oxygen.

Ten minutes into that routine, I knew that I was no better.  My chest kept getting tighter and my breathing became more and more difficult.  Finally one of the stewardesses addressed the plane full of people, asking if there were any doctors on board.  In God’s providence, there were two, a husband and wife traveling home to Denver; she was an internist and he was in a fellowship in pulmonary medicine.  Thank You, Jesus!  Someone looked through the first aid kit on the plane and found an inhaler, and that brought the turning point.  Calmed by the doctors, aided by the inhaler, I was finally able to begin to breathe normally.  I sat there, now able to benefit from the oxygen, and thanked God Who, indeed, flew through the heavens to come to my aid. 

I would have preferred that the breathing problems not happen, or that God would have answered my first prayer to take the problem away.  But what I experienced was far more powerful.  God had begun preparing me the week before, leading me to incredibly appropriate verses for this challenge. And then He gave me hours to immerse myself in Scripture that would speak to me about the need to control my thinking, to focus my mind on truth, take every thought captive.  As I kept my mind fixed on the truth of God’s word, I felt those arms under me five miles up in the sky.  That which I have long feared – being out of control – was reality, and God was there letting Himself be felt by me, assuring me that He was with me.  And how many planes have two doctors on them, including one who is studying the very problem that was challenging me? 

Yes, I prefer good health – and calm skies when I travel.  But I’m also learning to embrace James’ words when he says, Consider it pure joy, my brothers [my sister Theresa], whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance much finish its work so that you can be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  Personally, I prefer an easier route to maturity.  But that’s not God’s way.  And I’ve come to know for sure that God’s way is best.